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Monday, March 24, 2008

Child's Growth: Some Guidelines You Can Use

Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent, it's your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities.

By Elias Maseko

Just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent, it’s your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities.

Accept and celebrate your child’s uniqueness. Remember that your child is an individual. Allow your child to have his or her own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different from your own.

But is there such a thing as too much involvement? It’s imperative when you’re becoming involved with your school-aged child’s activities and academics that you recognize the line of what being too involved can be.

In contrast, for children who do not feel important or cherished have low self-esteem, and challenges can become sources of major anxiety and frustration. Children who think poorly of themselves have a hard time finding solving problems, and may become passive, withdrawn, or depressed.

As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to undo the wrongs that were done to you as a child if you had an angry and abusive parent or parents. It can be very curative and demonstrate you where your troubles lie are and inspire you to fix them. Perhaps your past is filled with unresolved hurt and anger.  If so, take the necessary steps to heal yourself.  If you don’t, you could unwillingly and unthinkingly harm your child. Studies have shown that children whose mothers often express anger are more likely to be difficult to discipline.  Identify problems from your past and honestly look at current situations that are angering you. Maybe you aren’t fulfilled at work; perhaps your spouse and you are having relationship troubles, maybe you have other personal issues or unfulfilled goals that are bothering you. If all your child ever sees is your angry face and hears an angry voice, that’s what they’ll most likely grow into as well.

We’ve all heard the term, “Oh, that’s child’s play.” It implies something is easy, frivolous and unimportant in the overall scheme of things.  But to a child, child’s play is essential to their mental, social, emotional, and physical development.

Play enables children to know things about the world and to discover information essential to learning. Through play children learn basic concepts such as colors, counting, how to build things, and how to solve problems. Thinking and reasoning skills are at work every time a child engages in some type of play.

So encourage your child’s play.  Color pictures, make finger paintings, build buildings and imaginary cities with blocks, and built a tent in the middle of the living room and go camping! And as we all know, childhood is fleeting, so let them enjoy being a kid while they are one!

And finally, encourage your child to be true to themselves by doing the same.  Show your child how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes.  Show your child that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them.

Friday, March 21, 2008

The Lazy Kids Way To Grade A

The story of how I managed to increase my child's grades at school, that any parent can follow.

By Liz Jones

Do you think that parents can influence their kid’s grades at school?

Some parents leave the “education side” of things to the school. But, when you see your own child struggling, you want to do something and quick.  There’s nothing harder than being a parent and not being able to help your kids when they need it is there?

We all know the pressure our kids are under to perform, society seems to have gone education crazy. We are embarrassed if our kids are not getting the grades at school. There’s so much competition, getting them in the best schools, monitoring the league tables, eventually turns into an obsession. I know people who have uprooted their entire family to move into a “catchment area” of a good school.  Well, listen to this true story- my own son was struggling with school work, he hated it. Homework time was a nightmare in our house, bribes, threats, throwing books across the room, all regular occurrences.  He hated reading, threw homework books across the room, parent days were shameful! However, the recent parents day was the last straw, I was mortified at the teachers comments so I decided to take action.  I came across an article in the local paper about how a well known supplement can increase concentration levels in kids. I jumped on the internet and ordered a batch quickly.  This school took a group of children and every day for 60 days gave them this supplement. They were tested before the daily supplements and then again after the study. The results, ASTOUNDING!!! But get this, the most improved group of all were the kids who were labeled “slow” or “bit dim”.  It seems that this “brain food” works best on kids whose concentration levels are low.

Very simply, this is how it works, our brains are wired cell by cell with pathways linking each one. Essential fatty acids help strengthen the wiring thus enabling them to communicate more efficiently.

More importantly our bodies cannot manufacture these acids, we have to obtain them from our diet. Unfortunately a typical western diet contains very little of these acids and it is estimated that the typical American is 95-99% deficient.  It may be of little surprise then compared to other cultures we do not do well in intelligence tests.

This marked the beginning of our journey, this was step one! Every day with breakfast my son had an Omega 3 & 6 supplement. We called it “the clever pill”. I explained why we were taking it and that it would help him pay attention in class and concentrate for longer periods.

I am convinced that this made a huge difference to his concentration levels. His teacher reported only a few weeks later that his can stay focused for longer periods now and seems to listen more in class.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Demise Of Classical Education - It Is Worse Than We Thought

The demise of classical education has created a problem in the minds of our youth today. Connected to this loss of classical education are the ideas, values, and visions of classical Greece and Rome. These are the ideas and values that shaped our nation and Western civilization.

By Kayley Kenzie

The demise of classical education has created a problem in the minds of our youth today. Connected to this loss of classical education are the ideas, values, and visions of classical Greece and Rome. These are the ideas and values that shaped our nation and Western civilization.

Universities have just started scrutinizing these very ideas, ironically enough. Few Americans know that the origins of the West were in ancient Greece.

Unfortunately, American citizens are drifting further away from the important ethical an philosophical theories that are necessary if we want to understand, appreciate, and keep the freedoms we enjoy.

It is important that we remember the Greek wisdom that has helped build our nation.

We applied many of these philosophies into our governmental make-up: a constitutional government, individual rights, freedom of expression, an open economy, civilian control of the military, separation of religious and political authority, private property, free scientific inquiry, and open dissent. These are some of the things that we need now more than ever in our changing culture.

We should also bear in mind that the Greeks insisted on monitoring and tempering these freedoms with philanthropy, civic responsibility, and an absolute world view.

The Greeks did not believe that life was rosy; instead, they saw it as momentary and tragic. Concepts like this along with self-criticism kept things in check.

The demise of classical education leaves us with a skewed and incomplete way of looking at the world. In its place are lenses which gives us a look at the world that consists of blind allegiance, an adoration of material culture, therapeutics, and moral relativism.

The Greeks gave us the means to change the physical and spiritual universe, either for good or ill. They also provided the means for us to control our most animalistic instincts in order to give toward the common good.

We can only fight the demise of classical education, or hope that when classics fall, the educational Dark Age will bring our children into a New Greek era.

If we don’t want our children to struggle in this intellectual darkness, we need to give our children the tools they need to think for themselves, and also the means to appreciate the Greeks for the model they created for our nation.

Monday, March 17, 2008

How To Have True Leadership In Education

We can break education down into three types: The public school system, professional education, and leadership in education. Thomas Jefferson Education is another way to describe leadership in education.

By Kayley Kenzie

We can break education down into three types: The public school system, professional education, and leadership in education. Thomas Jefferson Education is another way to describe leadership in education.

For families who couldn’t afford to give their children any other kind of education, public school was their option. The system was instituted to create students who could become part of the work force after receiving a diploma.

Now, the public school system is overwhelmingly the educational option of choice for almost all Americans. Educators who know Thomas Jefferson’s style of education like to call public school education “conveyor belt education.” Public schools punch out students as if they were little more than commodities and factory products.

Children are all treated the same in the public school system. They all get the same materials at the same age. They get the same indistinguishable tests. There is little or no focus on individual skills or interests.

Most students from this kind of education are great workers, at least. They were pretty much taught what to think.

Professional education is another system that’s actually quite similar to public education. These schools focus on giving training in specialized areas and trades, such as law, business, and medicine.

These are usually better known as trade schools. On this level, it is more difficult for students to get into a school like this, and only the best students are those who are competitive. The finished product of this form of education is a highly trained specialist who essentially knows when to think.

The third form of education is leadership in education, or leadership education. Through history, these are the students who become the true leaders in government. These students also become entrepreneurs, great speakers, and people with noble causes.

Thomas Jefferson’s vision was creating leaders who would stop tyranny. Unfortunately it only took a few short years after his educational plan was put into effect before the government started getting involved in public education.

Leaders like Jefferson throughout history were usually home schooled. After the learned foundational skills at home, they advanced to quality schools where they learned about the classics.

Mentors and teachers inspire their students to learn through guidance in their studies. Putting students at the feet of great minds from the classics allows students to learn how to think.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Should You Buy Homeschool Books Or Make Your Own?

Believe it or not, you don't have to spend a ton of money on either homeschool curriculum or homeschool books. If you just take the time to do some research, you'll discover many resources that will help you create your own curriculum without leaving you broke.

By Kayley Kenzie

Believe it or not, you don’t have to spend a ton of money on either homeschool curriculum or homeschool books. If you just take the time to do some research, you’ll discover many resources that will help you create your own curriculum without leaving you broke.

In my opinion it is so much better to make your own curriculum. That way, it won’t be so hard to make last minute changes that suit the needs of your child. If you discover a method that works better for you and your child, you can easily add it.

Choosing literature selections for the semester is one of the first things we do as a family. We make a goal to finish five to seven books per semester. When it comes to spelling or vocabulary, we don’t need to buy specialized homeschool books; we just use the literature we already have.

For example, my kids write the words and definitions that we are working on in a notebook.  These will also be their spelling words for the week.

For our history lessons, we focus on the time period of the literature we are reading.  We then implement science lessons by researching the scientific discoveries of each time period.

By tailoring our homeschooling lessons this way, we often end up having great discussions at mealtime.

Based on your child’s interest, you have the flexibility to study a literature unit in-depth, or just scratch the surface by learning the important facts.  Unlike rigid homeschool books, you have the flexibility to do this when you create your own curriculum.

However, we do use homeschool books for studying math. But we try to turn the ordinary math worksheets into something more engaging that will help children apply math skills with everyday life situations. For example, we do a lot of cooking when we’re working with fractions.

It’s important to understand your child’s interests and needs, since this is a key component in creating curriculum for your child. When you build your own curriculum, you are better able to help your child in ways that the public school system couldn’t.

Don’t worry about forking over a fortune just to buy homeschool books. You can build the curriculum your family needs by basing it around great literature.

I Can Do It! How To Teach Children To Tie Their Shoes

While it's often easier, quicker, and even more skillfully performed when we do things for our children, it's not always best. After all, we're not always around to be at our children's service! Why not teach your children how to tie their own shoes as a lesson in self reliance? This article provides 5 tips to help parents teach their children how to tie their own shoes.

By Dr Robyn Silverman

Teaching children how to tie their own shoes is one way to help them learn self reliance. When they learn self reliance through shoe-tying, they may be apt to try other things on their own and develop into more independent, capable, and competent children, teens and adults.

Since the invention of Velcro, most children’s shoes feature these easy closures. Still, there are benefits of teaching children how to tie their own shoes. On the physical side, it helps children work on their fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and dexterity. On the social side, it helps children employ self reliance and can lead to increased confidence in one’s own abilities. Besides, it’s still an important childhood milestone!

Here’s a few tips to help children learn how to tie their shoes all by themselves:

(1) Different colored laces: You will likely find that it’s easier to help your child learn how to tie his own shoes if the laces are not the same colors. Instead of saying “the right one” or “the one in that hand” you can say, “put the red one over the blue one.” Different colored laces can make any shoe-tying technique easier.

(2) Bunny ears:

a. Tell your child, “let’s make some bunny ears with your laces!”

b. Then, teach him how to make a tight knot that can become the top of the bunny’s head. Take one lace in each hand and make an X. Then pull one lace through the bottom of the X (like a train going through a tunnel) and pull tight.

c. Tell your child, “Now let’s give our bunny some ears.” Loop the laces to make 2 ears.

d. Tell your child, let’s make the ears nice and tight so they don’t fall off the bunny’s head!” With the 2 “ears” make an X shape, pass one “ear” under the X, again, just like a train going underneath a tunnel, and pull tight.

(3) Use a giant shoe cut-out: You can buy one or make one yourself. Cut out a big shoe-shape. Get your child involved by allowing him to decorate it with his favorite colored markers or stickers. Then string an extra long lace through the shoe cut-out (a shoe lace that’s 2 different colors on each side can be helpful here—sew a red and green lace together or dip each side of a white lace in dye for the same effect). Allow your child to work on the “giant’s shoe” using any teaching method you like.

(4) The scaredy cat and the tree: This method uses a fun story to help children tie their shoes. This method is also known as the squirrel going ‘round the tree. It can be helpful to tell your child stories because they can make it easier for him to remember the steps. Not only does this method help your child develop self reliance but it also exercises your child’s fine motor skills and dexterity since he needs to switch hands.

a. Tell the child, “make tree roots by making a knot.”

b. Then say, “make a long loop to make a very tall tree. Hold that loop in your right hand.” (A sticker on your child’s right hand can help him remember right from left).

c. Tell your child, “with the left hand, hold onto the other lace. This is the scaredy cat! The cat runs around the tree and jumps into the hole under the tree and out the other side.”

(5) Try some shoe-tying books or toys: There are wooden shoe-tying models and shoe-tying books that allow your children to practice! Books or games like “Tie Your Shoes Rocket Style” or “The Wooden Lacing Shoe (Melissa and Doug) are some good options.

Dr. Robyn’s PowerNote: If your child’s a lefty and you’re not, ask another lefty to help you teach your child how to tie his or her shoes. Or—mirror them! Sit across from your children and tie a shoe along with them. This way, your shoe tying will match what they’re doing.

Again, while Velcro and bungee cord laces are available, learning to tie ones own shoes helps with self reliance and development. And, as you know, your youngster will grow to be an adult one day...and when is the last time you used Velcro to fasten your shoes? You might as well teach them now as they will need to learn the skill eventually!

I Can Do It! How To Teach Children To Tie Their Shoes

While it's often easier, quicker, and even more skillfully performed when we do things for our children, it's not always best. After all, we're not always around to be at our children's service! Why not teach your children how to tie their own shoes as a lesson in self reliance? This article provides 5 tips to help parents teach their children how to tie their own shoes.

By Dr Robyn Silverman

Teaching children how to tie their own shoes is one way to help them learn self reliance. When they learn self reliance through shoe-tying, they may be apt to try other things on their own and develop into more independent, capable, and competent children, teens and adults.

Since the invention of Velcro, most children’s shoes feature these easy closures. Still, there are benefits of teaching children how to tie their own shoes. On the physical side, it helps children work on their fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and dexterity. On the social side, it helps children employ self reliance and can lead to increased confidence in one’s own abilities. Besides, it’s still an important childhood milestone!

Here’s a few tips to help children learn how to tie their shoes all by themselves:

(1) Different colored laces: You will likely find that it’s easier to help your child learn how to tie his own shoes if the laces are not the same colors. Instead of saying “the right one” or “the one in that hand” you can say, “put the red one over the blue one.” Different colored laces can make any shoe-tying technique easier.

(2) Bunny ears:

a. Tell your child, “let’s make some bunny ears with your laces!”

b. Then, teach him how to make a tight knot that can become the top of the bunny’s head. Take one lace in each hand and make an X. Then pull one lace through the bottom of the X (like a train going through a tunnel) and pull tight.

c. Tell your child, “Now let’s give our bunny some ears.” Loop the laces to make 2 ears.

d. Tell your child, let’s make the ears nice and tight so they don’t fall off the bunny’s head!” With the 2 “ears” make an X shape, pass one “ear” under the X, again, just like a train going underneath a tunnel, and pull tight.

(3) Use a giant shoe cut-out: You can buy one or make one yourself. Cut out a big shoe-shape. Get your child involved by allowing him to decorate it with his favorite colored markers or stickers. Then string an extra long lace through the shoe cut-out (a shoe lace that’s 2 different colors on each side can be helpful here—sew a red and green lace together or dip each side of a white lace in dye for the same effect). Allow your child to work on the “giant’s shoe” using any teaching method you like.

(4) The scaredy cat and the tree: This method uses a fun story to help children tie their shoes. This method is also known as the squirrel going ‘round the tree. It can be helpful to tell your child stories because they can make it easier for him to remember the steps. Not only does this method help your child develop self reliance but it also exercises your child’s fine motor skills and dexterity since he needs to switch hands.

a. Tell the child, “make tree roots by making a knot.”

b. Then say, “make a long loop to make a very tall tree. Hold that loop in your right hand.” (A sticker on your child’s right hand can help him remember right from left).

c. Tell your child, “with the left hand, hold onto the other lace. This is the scaredy cat! The cat runs around the tree and jumps into the hole under the tree and out the other side.”

(5) Try some shoe-tying books or toys: There are wooden shoe-tying models and shoe-tying books that allow your children to practice! Books or games like “Tie Your Shoes Rocket Style” or “The Wooden Lacing Shoe (Melissa and Doug) are some good options.

Dr. Robyn’s PowerNote: If your child’s a lefty and you’re not, ask another lefty to help you teach your child how to tie his or her shoes. Or—mirror them! Sit across from your children and tie a shoe along with them. This way, your shoe tying will match what they’re doing.

Again, while Velcro and bungee cord laces are available, learning to tie ones own shoes helps with self reliance and development. And, as you know, your youngster will grow to be an adult one day...and when is the last time you used Velcro to fasten your shoes? You might as well teach them now as they will need to learn the skill eventually!

How To Choose The Right Homeschool Curriculum

Have you ever attended a homeschooling convention to choose homeschool curriculum? The experience can be quite refreshing, since it introduces you to the many possibilities available on the market.

By Kayley Kenzie

Have you ever attended a homeschooling convention to choose homeschool curriculum? The experience can be quite refreshing, since it introduces you to the many possibilities available on the market.

Or perhaps it simply leaves you feeling more dizzy and confused than before you ever attended.

Or you may be the type of parent that likes to browse through catalogs and choose what you think is best.  You like to order your purchases by mail, phone, or Internet.  You would rather contact the salesperson instead of them contacting you.

You might instead be the kind of homeschooler who prefers surfing the web to find exactly what you need.

Regardless of how you shop for your homeschool curriculum online, through a catalog, or at a homeschool convention, here are some important suggestions to consider when making your choices:

* Be familiar with your children’s strengths, weaknesses, and interests. Knowing these factors will help you decide the best material. The resources you choose should not only enhance your child’s strengths, but also address your child’s weaknesses and turn them into strengths.

* Understand what your family is about.  Are you a religious family?  Do you have special needs children?  Maybe you would like to travel more.  When choosing a homeschool cirriculum, it is essential that you take these factors into account.

* What is your child’s learning style? Knowing how your child learns is an important factor to consider when choosing curriculum. Is your child more of an auditory, visual, or hands-on learner?

* What are your family’s long-term goals?  Does your child have goals for him/herself?  If you and your child have a goal for him/her to run their own business, you should look for resources to help you accomplish this.

* Cost of materials is an important factor.  Some homeschooling families feel okay about photocopying material, or “borrowing” curriculum.  Personally, I feel it is not fair.  This doesn’t mean that the curriculum you choose has to be expensive or make your broke.  If you plan in advance, you will be able to budget in the costs.

* Is there a homeschooling philosophy that appeals to you? There are plenty of homeschool cirriculum philosophies. There are some that are literature-based, textbook, unit studies, accelerated, unschooling, Classical, and Christian.

* If you have lots of children and work part-time on the side, it is essential that you take time into consideration.  As you purchase a curriculum, you need to think about the time that is also put into your child’s activities and co-op classes.

Before you decide on any homeschool curriculum, I think it’s important for you to pray about your decision and talk things over with your spouse first.




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What You Can Uncover From Homeschool Curriculum Reviews

There are a wide variety of reasons why parents choose to homeschool. More and more children are being educated at home.

By Kayley Kenzie

There are a wide variety of reasons why parents choose to homeschool. More and more children are being educated at home.

And the reason for this increasing number is different from family to family.  However, there are usually three main reasons why parents have chosen to take the initiative to homeschool their children.

I’ve studied a lot of different homeschool curriculum reviews. According to my research, the main reason parents pull their children out of the public school system is because they feel their children are not getting a quality education.

The public education system of America is struggling to give our children an adequate education. Much of this struggling is a result of out-of-date textbooks, inferior equipment, and unfit buildings.

When a parent chooses to homeschool their child, they have control over what kind of education their child is receiving.

The homeschool curriculum reviews I read also revealed that another big reason for parents choosing to homeschool is choosing the influences that their children are exposed to.

This is often based on religious preference, though not always. But in any case, the homeschooling environment gives your child the best chance to learn values important to the family. Families are also able to decide to when their child is ready for certain information.

Public schools have earned a bad reputation for not enforcing good discipline. That’s why students earn a reputation for disrupting classes and disregarding their peers who are trying to learn.

When it comes to homeschooling, discipline is one of the most important factors in education.

The safety factor is another big reason I frequently read about in homeschool curriculum reviews. All you have to do is skim a newspaper to see that violence is become more and more prevalent in public schools.

It doesn’t look like it’s getting any better. The acts of violence seem to grow deadlier over the years. After the Columbine High School shooting, there have been other incidents around the nation involving guns.

A homeschool education provides a safe and secure environment, whereas there is a greater risk of harm in public school.

Homeschool curriculum reviews also mention some other disadvantages, and some of them bring up the involvement of the state when you decide to educate your children at home.

Certain states demand that the parent be a qualified, certified teacher who uses state-approved materials.

Sometimes parents are afraid that by homeschooling their children, they might block from them athletic and musical opportunities.

Socialization is one of the most commonly voiced fears. People are often afraid that children will lack social skills if they don’t interact with peers.

Obviously, there are ways to work around all these disadvantages. But it’s important to weigh the pros and cons when looking over homeschooling curriculum reviews, and especially understand the requirements of your state.




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What You Can Uncover From Homeschool Curriculum Reviews

There are a wide variety of reasons why parents choose to homeschool. More and more children are being educated at home.

By Kayley Kenzie

There are a wide variety of reasons why parents choose to homeschool. More and more children are being educated at home.

And the reason for this increasing number is different from family to family.  However, there are usually three main reasons why parents have chosen to take the initiative to homeschool their children.

I’ve studied a lot of different homeschool curriculum reviews. According to my research, the main reason parents pull their children out of the public school system is because they feel their children are not getting a quality education.

The public education system of America is struggling to give our children an adequate education. Much of this struggling is a result of out-of-date textbooks, inferior equipment, and unfit buildings.

When a parent chooses to homeschool their child, they have control over what kind of education their child is receiving.

The homeschool curriculum reviews I read also revealed that another big reason for parents choosing to homeschool is choosing the influences that their children are exposed to.

This is often based on religious preference, though not always. But in any case, the homeschooling environment gives your child the best chance to learn values important to the family. Families are also able to decide to when their child is ready for certain information.

Public schools have earned a bad reputation for not enforcing good discipline. That’s why students earn a reputation for disrupting classes and disregarding their peers who are trying to learn.

When it comes to homeschooling, discipline is one of the most important factors in education.

The safety factor is another big reason I frequently read about in homeschool curriculum reviews. All you have to do is skim a newspaper to see that violence is become more and more prevalent in public schools.

It doesn’t look like it’s getting any better. The acts of violence seem to grow deadlier over the years. After the Columbine High School shooting, there have been other incidents around the nation involving guns.

A homeschool education provides a safe and secure environment, whereas there is a greater risk of harm in public school.

Homeschool curriculum reviews also mention some other disadvantages, and some of them bring up the involvement of the state when you decide to educate your children at home.

Certain states demand that the parent be a qualified, certified teacher who uses state-approved materials.

Sometimes parents are afraid that by homeschooling their children, they might block from them athletic and musical opportunities.

Socialization is one of the most commonly voiced fears. People are often afraid that children will lack social skills if they don’t interact with peers.

Obviously, there are ways to work around all these disadvantages. But it’s important to weigh the pros and cons when looking over homeschooling curriculum reviews, and especially understand the requirements of your state.




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Child Behavior Problems: Getting Your Child To Go To Bed

It is often difficult to get your child to go to bed for two reasons. One, the child is in no mood to give up the activity and go to the quiet lonely bedroom and be deprived of the fun. Secondly, by the end of the day you are so tired that you long for some quiet moments all to yourself. Both of you are justified and that is where the clash of interest begins. The result is your child throws up a tantrum or comes up with some demand or the other that can postpone bedtime.

By Dr. Noel Swanson.

It is often difficult to get your child to go to bed for two reasons. One, the child is in no mood to give up the activity and go to the quiet lonely bedroom and be deprived of the fun. Secondly, by the end of the day you are so tired that you long for some quiet moments all to yourself. Both of you are justified and that is where the clash of interest begins. The result is your child throws up a tantrum or comes up with some demand or the other that can postpone bedtime.

But it seems that over a third of children refuse to go to bed before their parents!

So, if you are in that situation, here are some pointers that might help:

First, you need to establish how much sleep they actually need.  Most children under 12 need about 10 to 12 hours sleep (the younger they are, the more they need).  However, some kids just seem to need very little.  If that is the case with yours, ie, they genuinely function well on, say, 6 or 8 hours sleep, there is just no point fighting with them to go to bed 4 hours before they need to - all that will happen is they get up four hours earlier and wake you up then, instead!

After you have established a reasonable bedtime, you should stick to it. Kids take advantage of any weakness. They will not miss a chance to manipulate you into giving them an extra hour. They have a fertile imagination and will concoct any and every tactic to wrangle that from you. They will ask for a drink or a question, or they will say they are scared or need to pee, anything! Some of them are so good at it that they might make you feel sorry for them so that you allow them to stay up later or sleep in your bed. Don’t give in.

Once you have established the rules, you must implement them. Make a bedtime routine. It is very important, especially for the younger ones. As I said earlier, you cannot force sleep, but you can create a situation when sleep comes automatically. Follow the same bedtime routine day after day, and start well before the target bedtime leading them through the various steps, such as getting changed, doing teeth and bathroom, reading a story and switching off the lights. It pays to give them your full attention during this routine; they feel comfortable and secure.

Then, when it comes to lights out, be firm and calm. Make it clear that you expect them to stay in bed.  Leave the door open or a night-light on if they need that.  You could also put on some gentle, soothing music if they respond well to that.

All this is fine, but if the child gets out of bed, or calls for your attention, then you need to judge the situation calmly. If the need is genuine, cater to it without giving them too much attention so that it doesn’t become a routine affair.

You could use a timer and tell your child that you will be up to check on them after five or ten minutes only if he stays in bed. Start with five minutes and gradually increase to ten minutes. Make sure you go up to check on him and praise him for staying in bed quietly. But don’t linger on. Just tuck him up quietly, give a kiss, and leave.

For your own peace of mind, you may want to go on checking till they are asleep. You might find this very tiring in the beginning, but remember, habits are not formed in a day. You need to put in some effort to get your child into a bedtime routine.

Remember to be positive by praising your child for staying quietly in bed. Also, be very particular about keeping your promise by going to check exactly at the time fixed. This is where the timer comes in handy.

If they get up before your next check, do the following:

First, send them firmly back to bed.  Don’t shout; just make it clear you mean business. Then remind them that you WILL be up to tuck them in again, but it won’t be until the timer says so, and now you are going to have to restart the timer as they got out of bed.  Having done that, ignore them until the time for your next check.

Finally, remember to reward them for success in staying nicely in bed.  A star chart or similar works well for this.




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